Walking the Spiritual Treasures Trail
We revisit Tara William's article as she walks the local Spiritual Treasures Trail
I saw this in a local magazine and so I pinned it on my calendar (yes, I still have a wall calendar!) as something I may do; maybe as a long run and try to bag all 12 churches in one go. That would be good training for the two long runs I am doing in September.
Then, on 25 July, my life was brought to a screeching standstill when my Mother died. Yes, I knew that it was coming but nonetheless, like Christmas, it comes as a total shock. Nothing can prepare you for the outright disbelief, anger, questioning and overwhelming sadness that follows in the days and weeks after (and months and years too...).
As the calendar page turned to August, I saw the map for the Horsham Spiritual Treasures Trail and decided that I would use this to start my journey of acceptance and healing. No more the idea to run it all in one day but to visit each of the churches. The only plan was to do it all on foot and to spend time at each church.
“Healing is a process, not a mad dash from start to finish. This is my journey... ”
Friday 2nd August. I could not start on the 1st as I was with the Funeral Director in Brighton and on my return I was too exhausted, mentally and emotionally to do anything, let alone run. First visit would be West Grinstead so a trot along the Downs Link and a detour took me to St George’s then I had to face the road for the short trot to The Shrine of Our Lady of Consolation. I looked around the church and looked at the questions...which was when I realised that I had not looked at the ones for St George’s...so I retraced my steps and faced that busy road once more and returned to St George’s. A footpath from here should take me straight back to the Down’s Link and home. Lesson of the day; looking at a map will give me a sense of direction but it is reading the map which gets me there. A missed footpath gave me some extra running but I got back on track and clocked up just over 13 miles.
Itchingfield, Slinfold and Warnham
All looked pretty straight-foward on the map. My known route from Southwater to Itchingfield then pick up the Literary Trail which would take me to Slinfold, Warnham then into Horsham. That was the plan...
I arrived at St Nicholas’ just after the morning service and met a friend of the lady who had put together this trail. Almost a tearful outbreak as I explained why I was doing this but it was the salt in my eyes which meant that I could hardly see the weather vane. It was a muggy day and I was rather bedraggled by this stage - only a few miles in though! OS maps are never easy to use out and about and I ended up with it open fully outside the Church as I tried to orientate myself to pick up the Literary Trail and so off I went on a route I run regularly but in the other direction. St Peter’s in Slinfold offered a water bottle refill and out with the map again to continue on to St Margaret’s in Warnham. I got a bit carried away in running and missed my turning off point but easily corrected.
My GPS went blank at around 13 miles then it all went downhill as the Literary Trail is poorly marked and add to that a golf course with a distinct lack of FP markers and it was a case of just escaping off the fairway. Thankfully, in achieving that, I stumbled onto the Horsham Riverside Walk which I know well so I carried on along that route. That took me past St Mary’s where I had hoped to get water but alas, no tap. Tired and quite thirsty, it was not far back to Southwater. At least 16 miles in total today and 4 more stickers on my (now rather soggy) piece of paper. However, having been given a more robust route map, I transferred them onto that and it looks much more presentable. Mum’s funeral is this Thursday and I am not sure what impact it is going to have on me. I plan to visit the Church in advance and drive the route to the crematorium so at least I know where I am going on the day. Tearful outbreaks are still regular and spontaneous. I am still in the very early ‘raw’ stages of grief and at times think that I must phone Mum... ’Acceptance’ of her death seems a very long way off and I am already 29 miles into my journey.
Holy Innocents, Southwater. Having lived here for 15 years, this was my first visit to the church. I just needed to get out as my days seem to be taken up by the formalities of death and the organisation of the funeral. My journey however was not of the calm, reflective kind I had hoped for as the road leading to the church is in the process of being dug up; so even inside the sound is not drowned out. I could not take the time I wanted and so it was back home again but the longer, more scenic way. Only about 3 miles this loop. I will return to this church when it is quiet and calm. Two tearful outbursts today - trying to sort the music and quotes for the funeral. I don’t think that I will even start the healing process until after the funeral. I need closure. I think that I will do Partridge Green on Friday after the funeral on Thursday as it is just a steady plod along the Down’s Link - just me and my footfall, my thoughts and my tears...and no trying to refold an OS map so I can carry it and look at it on the run!
St Andrew’s Nuthurst -9 mile circular run
Having recharged my GPS, it was showing 13 miles and that was when it gave up at Warnham so my 16 mile guess was probably rather on the low side as it was certainly more than 3 miles the route I ended up using to get back home! Oh well, what’s a few additional miles! I often run past this church as it is on one of my regular running routes, known as ‘The Graveyard’ and as I exit, I stop to read the inscription above the list of those who died in the war but this was my first visit to the church itself. Today is F-1, the day before the funeral. I feel unsettled and angry which was how the sky was looking as the black clouds built up. It has been a very hard two weeks with no time to actually process events, just the slog of administration and organisation. I feel like I just want to scream. I was hoping for an almighty storm from these clouds so I could vent my frustration and shout into the thunder. The storm didn’t come but the rain did...oh well, at least it hid the tears. Tomorrow is going to be a hard day - give me strength. ‘God saw that you were getting tired and a cure was not to be, so he put his arms around you and whispered “Come to Me”’.
St Mary the Virgin, Shipley . 10 mile out and back run I was planning on taking the Downs Link to Partridge Green but it was very blustery and I just didn’t fancy it so the plan was changed and I headed out the door on a sunny afternoon to head south to Shipley. A nice running route with some good woodland and field paths. No navigational issues this time. When I run to Worthing from home, I go through Shipley and past the windmill so it was a change to turn left and head to the church. Such a beautiful building and such contrast inside from the bright sunlight I left outside - it took a while for my eyes to adjust then I couldn’t find the chair of Rev. Dan Pope but I was impressed that I managed to work out north and south based on my approach. Questions answered and sticker on the page, time to head back home. The wind had picked up and no matter which direction I was going in, it always felt as though I was running into the wind! I felt oddly calm after the turmoil of yesterday and the steady pace of running gave me time to look around me at the beautiful English countryside in the summer sun. I felt ok but I know that the full impact has not yet hit me.
The Blue Idol Quaker Meeting House, Coolham
On the map it looked like an easy one to get to as it started out on one of my regular running routes then picked up the Sussex Literary Trail on major paths, straight to the front door. That would have been the case but with waymarks few and far between (and some pointing off the wrong way!), it became quite a journey. With one pathway being overgrown and concealed in a hedge in a garden and the fingerpost somewhere in that hedge as well, I went sailing past it and ended up quite some way off the route. I had passed two people walking the trail and in the space of a few miles, I had gone off course and then caught up with them again twice, getting more embarrassed each time. By the time I got to The Blue Idol, I had already done 9.5 miles and run out of water. So, a brief stop to collect my sticker and answer the questions and it was back on the trail home...hopefully. The final mileage was just over 17. I had estimated about 13 miles for this one! Just Partridge Green and Coolham to do now. It makes a change from the harrowing task of sorting out my Mother’s paperwork and the life she has now departed. I nearly phoned her yesterday to tell her about something she would have wanted to watch on TV - then the reality hit me. She has gone.
St Michael and All Angels, Partridge Green This should be an easy one; about a 13 mile round trip and just Down’s Link so no navigation issues or overgrown footpaths to take on. Warm, sunny afternoon. A break in the recent very un-summer weather. Time to put the legs onto autopilot and just think things through. I still feel numb from the trauma but sometimes other emotions just crash in. They say that repetitive running is a good help in recovering from a trauma - 13 miles of Down’s Link should be just the prescription then. Just letting the mind drift as the legs propel you along is very calming and I was doing a good pace so arrived quicker than I expected. I got out my (now very ‘soggy’) piece of paper, wandered around to get the answers and my sticker then out the door and repeated the 6.5 miles back home. Sitting in my garden by the now fading funeral flowers, I cried. Let it out, try to get the pain out of my system. They say that the pain never goes but that you just get better at living with it. I Googled the symptoms of having experienced a traumatic situation - I almost score full house on what I am going through now!
St John’s, Coolhurst Last one on my list and an easy run, starting from Southwater, to Chesworth Farm then pick up the Riverside Walk route and follow that round until I have to divert off route on the road to Coolhurst. Answers in the Church yard so logic said that they would be relatively easy to find as they would not use an old, hard to read headstone or send us into the graves hidden in the hedges. I found a beech tree, a big beech tree but the area below it was all grown up with foliage so I spend ages looking for a hidden headstone. Nothing there. A long time wandering around until I was directed to a small beech tree and a flat plaque below bearing the answer. The Colonel’s headstone should be easy to find, this was not supposed to be impossible! Finally, I found him, where I thought that he would be, in an obvious location - which I had walked past many times on my laps round the church! Just after 4.15pm now so I could make it to St Mary’s Horsham to hand in my answer sheet and end the trail. I could then even take the bus home as the trail was done! I got a move on and made it to St Mary’s in good time but the chapel was closed and therefore I had to run back home as the trail was not yet finished. A final 10 miles clocked up, taking my total to over 90 miles on this trail.